We're here...still torn w/mixed emotions, but our bodies are back in the US, safely back in our own homes. Nick and I had a great night's sleep in our own beds. It wasn't as hard as I expected it might be to sleep INSIDE and in a QUIET room ALONE! Clean sheets have never felt so good! And the shower....the water bill may possibly be a little high this month!
I'm sitting here this morning with so much laundry to start and life to return to....just not sure where to begin. I know from past missions trips that this is a struggle for me...to somehow transition from life a world away to an immediate thrust back into my own reality of life. It's hard. I've got worship music playing through the house in an attempt to keep my mind where it needs to be and not allow frustration and a sense of sadness spread. As one of the team members said yesterday to me, it is almost as if we're dealing with a death.
It's really a hard emotion to explain...that you can be right in your own life and what was once familiar seems foreign....and what is foreign somehow feels like home. We were prepped for such emotions, but they're still surprising each time you feel them.
I'm sitting with the phone beside me right now...dialing and redialing AirFrance in an attempt to recover my journal that was left on our flight yesterday. I spent hours and hours writing and reflecting while we were gone....it is my way of connecting to my environment and writing down the things the Lord is showing me. I can't tell you the weight I felt yesterday when I discovered it was missing-I know right where it sits. I figured it was just gone and there was no use even trying to find it...until this morning I was going to just let it go. But, I figure I'll make one effort to recover it....then let it go. There's something comforting about that little book...it holds words and feelings that I can't seem to say outloud right now. It makes no sense to me that it should be left behind...it seems to hold a key to my remembering the things He's doing in me. SO, until I'm told it's impossible to find, I'll keep calling!
I'm not sure how many of my teamates will think to look back on here, but if you're reading, I want each of you to know how impressed I am with you! You made it through some of the toughest circumstances of your life...and made it through well! I saw in many of you a new spark...the beginning of something that God is planting in your lives. I know each of the leaders were blessed and privileged to join you on this trip...and we look on in anticipation as we watch what God is doing in your lives.
Settle in...be free to enjoy home. THIS is where God has you today...find joy in being where He has you. Take your time...before long the new you will mesh with the old you and home will be home again...
4 comments:
thank you terri! i will pray your journal is returned to you. i was struck by you saying "it makes no sense that it should left behind".... and yet there must be a reason. i believe the LORD will allow someone to read something in there that will touch thier life. nothing happens by accident... GOD is in control... and HE will use this too!
i am so thankful drew was apart of this trip. i know the LORD is going to use this in his life and future somehow. it will be interesting to watch the plan unfold! thank you leaders for watching over my child! :)
Terri, Great to meet you and the Lancaster crew in Gabon. Wish we had more time together. Ya all come back next year! We'll have the airplane then and take everyone for a ride. Have fun back in PA! God Bless- Steve
Terri..I cannot begin to tell you how blessed I am to have you as a leader in my life. I've been on many missions trips with you, shared many stories, memories, laughs, smiles, and many, many tears. I look up to you, and cherish your wisdom. Thank you so much for your time, and the years you've put into my life. As I read your post, I found myself with tears running down my cheeks. I thought I had been doing okay being home..missing Africa a lot. But we still have a lot to go through as a team..thanks for being there, and letting God use you in the lives of others. I love you:)
Amber...so sweet, thank you for your words. It has been nothing but a privilege to walk alongside you and the other girls. I had some sadness myself as I reread the posts...I love home, but it takes some time to adjust back to it. This trip also represented the end for me in alot of ways--the last of the trips we will spend with the seniors...while excited for your futures, it's hard to realize how quickly the time has passed. SO glad we got to make so many great memories together!!! Seeing you grow and have a desire to serve the Lord with your future makes it worth the sadness!!! Love you, Amber J!
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